A Crack-filled Story by Nicole and Meta
by Space Dimentio
Summary: Nicole Peach and I did a writing exercise, birthing a glitter-filled pie hell crackfic.


**A/N:** (I'm in **bold** , and Nicole Peach is normal text. We did one of those writing exercises where you say a few words and then the other person continues the story, back and forth. Thus, something really, really dumb was born.)

* * *

 **Experiment** with chocolate **and pokemon** to make **chocolate type** and kill dragons **with fondue and** cheese covered mice.

 **Dragons can't** eat cheese **because it causes them to** explode into glitter **which gets fucking everywhere** and never leaves other dragon's scales.

 **And also your hair.**

Which is why my hair sparkles like that.

 **Later, at home** I tried to spread my glittery wrath **outside on my lawn** but the gnomes attacked **with laser cats and** started killing glitter **dogs with rocket launchers** in hopes of stopping their missile bird masters.

 **The glitter turned** into zombie chickens **and ate the laser cats with** out any milk.

 **They were gross.**

 **Next, they** went searching **for their lost Dimentio** who was by Mr. L **at the Space Mart scrubbing** chocolate wrappers left by Squirps **so that they may be recycled into** purses for Peach's collection.

 **Peach likes the way** they smell because **she likes chocolate but not getting fat and she** thinks they smell like chocolate.

 **Because they were once** Squirp's favorite food **once.**

 **He's** currently in the **depths of hell** for stealing chocolate **from Queen Jaydes** because he wanted to.

 **Queen Jaydes' favorite flavor is** chocolate caramel death and peanut **brittle, because it reminded her of** her and Grambi's first date **when they went to** Bonechill's cafe of ice and terror.

 **Why they went there is a mystery.**

Probably because the pie is delicious.

 **The filling is the blood of the innocent.**

And the secret is that and sugar.

 **Queen Jaydes first** went without knowing of the blood **but still continued to** eat the pies anyways.

 **Grambi reminisced about** eating people pies **and about his daughter who** was turned into a people pie.

 **So they made a new daughter** out of Pure Hearts.

 **She died too.**

So they cried. Oops.

 **But she didn't die it was a joke** and so they grounded her **even though it wasn't her fault, it was** Dimentio's but they couldn't kill him **because he refused to stay dead** so they forced him **to clean the bathroom** forever and ever.

 **Instead of doing that, he** tried to kill Jaydes. **By clogging the sink with** poisonous piles of ivy.

 **The bathroom flooded and** Jaydes learned of the assassination attempt, but blamed **Bonechill instead so she** closed down his restaurant **and sent him to** the land of musical kazoos.

 **And bagpipes, don't forget those.**

No of course and bagpipes.

 **The bagpipes came from** O'Chunks's closet of instruments he can't play **which also included** oboes and trombones! **And a single** contra-bass flute that should not be that big **it was also snapped in half for obvious reasons.**

 **Dimentio** probably destroyed the closet **when he had too much** butterbeer! **When he gets drunk he** likes to destroy and kill things. **And also to wear** ballerina tutus.

 **He was drunk now, in fact. Mr. L** was forced into **a strip club** to be a male stripper.

 **He was really horrible at it** so he tried **to eat a sandwich** with cheese and mustard **but accidentally made a** death ray for Fawful.

 **Fawful then went to** Dimentio and **zapped his pancakes** angering the jester who **waited until Christmas and** destroyed all of Fawful's presents. **And filled his stocking with coal and took** the candy canes for himself.

 **Fawful, when he found out what happened,** stole Dimentio's **hat and put** wings in **his coffee so it flew into his face** and burned away the mask.

 **Then Fawful died.**

Only because he saw under Dimentio's mask.

 **Especially because he saw under Dimentio's mask.**

Pretty much the only reason why though.

 **But Fawful told everyone in the Underwhere** and so the Underwhere knew the secret.

 **And then Dimentio went to the Underwhere to** murder all the Shaydes.

 **Queen Jaydes was all like** mad for the murder of her Shaydes. **And she tried to zap him but** he was too teleporty to hit.

 **So Dimentio destroyed her and** took over the Underwhere. **But then the balance of life and death was out of wack, because he refused to do any paperwork.**

So everybody except him died.

 **He died too though.**

 **Then the Big Bang happened** and the universe remade itself.

 **And then there was Super Paper Mario** and the Void almost made the world go poof **e** **xcept it was fictional this time** so nobody actually died.

 **Except for Dimentio** in a rather painful fashion **because snapping your fingers** snapped them in two **and he couldn't stop multiplying** and the divisions caused him to explode.

 **Thus the universe died again. The End**


End file.
